Long time no talk! These last days have been full of things to do, books to read, places to go to, people to meet. I’ve finished writing a prequel taken from the paranormal trilogy I’ve written and I’ve published it for free. In these days, my life can be pretty well summoned by two words: writing and music. I’m spending my mornings at the conservatory, studying piano for my graduation exam next July. Everyday my alarm rings at 6.30 and I get up, I have a shower, I take the bus and, after the arrival, I stop by a bar on the road in order to write or translate or edit something or doing anything else which concerns Microsoft Word. Then, I go to the conservatory. Everyday. I’ve found out that this kind of daily routine is really productive and that I’m writing very much and that the piano pieces are getting well as if after a long illness. This routine obliges me to be alone most of the time. D’u know what? Who cares! Solitude can be a useful ally if you’re carrying on creative works. Sometimes, creativity needs silence. No one speaking, no one interrupting. Just yourself and your music and your art and whatever you’re doing. What else?
I’m not disappeared into a puffed, light-blue cloud. It’s just that my IELTS test is approaching and I’m just… panicking. I can write, yes, I think I can do it. And I can read and listen to the records (although the latter makes me incredibly anxious). But the speaking? That’s my real problem. Speaking is something you usually practice with English-speaking people, but I live in Italy and it’s not so easy to find someone who can talk to you in a foreign language and, most of all, who WANTS to spend his time with you like that. So, I’m panicking. I don’t know if I can pass this exam and I don’t know if I’ve the necessary skills. Apart from that, life goes on as usual. I spend my mornings playing the piano in conservatory (I should graduate next year) and I’m perfectionning my PhD research proposal. I’m reading Brave New World by Aldous Huxley (we’ll have time to talk about that) and I’m trying to reduce the pile of magazines standing on the floor like a paper tower. Most of all, I’m writing. I’ve subscribed to the #NaNoWriMo and I’m writing my novel-in-a-month. This year I’m writing into Italian language, but I’ve sweared that next year I’ll try to do it in English. Can I do that? I don’t know but, as wise people say, “do things before you’re ready”.
Here where I live, in this little town in the south of Italy, November is the month with the highest number of fairs. It starts with a big fair in a little town next to mine and it goes on with another in my native town. November smells like oranges and roasted chestnuts and popcorn and sugar. November smells like pouring rain and grey sky. I love this month that is a bridge between summer and winter, the main part of autumn. For me, this is also the period of time in which I’ve to make my decisions and my English test. I don’t know where I’ll be living next year and which language I’ll be speaking. What I know is the incredible atmosphere of this (perhaps) last November in Italy. And I’m gonna enjoy it ‘til the end.
I’ve been taking a journal since my 6th grade. “What a childish thing to do!”, some among you could say. Yes, maybe it is, but it’s also a useful practice, as I’m gonna explain to you. For instance, think about a big crush you have upon a nice boy. You write everything about him and about the “déroulement” of your crush. At some point, something goes wrong. Then, you come back to your journal, you read it again from the beginning to the end, and suddenly you understand WHY something’s gone wrong. A private journal always hides the truth. Maybe it’s because we’re completely honest while writing it: we know no one else would read it. On the contrary, when we rethink of some memories of ours, often we slightly edit them, maybe in order to preserve ourselves from the rush of truth. Truth is seldom nice to look at.
There’s also another reason at least that should convince you to take a journal. When you’re writing for yourself only, you can experiment your creativity and let it increase. If you like drawing figures but you’re still insecure about how they look, you can practice on your journal and nobody is gonna watch them. If you like writing poems but you just don’t feel like someone should read them, here we are again: write them down on your journal.
So, now maybe it’s clear why I keep doing this “childish thing”. Make a try and let me know if it works for the best 🙂
Monday evening at Catullo café. Biscuits and coffee and too much thoughts to organise. I’ve spent my day thinking about how to react to bad news. For instance, imagine that your ex boyfriend is messing up with everything and everyone that concern you. Imagine that he’s doing his best to make people have an argument with you. He’s telling lies and he’s leaving bad reviews to your books on Amazon. What do you do? Nothing, of course. Indifference is worst than anger and it hurts more. So, this is my situation at the moment: someone who’s doing his best to bother me and “make me disappear” (a quote of his) and me doing nothing to put a stop to all this mess. Indifference is the answer. It’s an invisible weapon or, better, a shield that makes you stronger without a move. So, that’s my daily advice: make bad things go away from you and free yourself of the bad seeds of incoherent people who just want you to lose control. There’s something that isn’t worth standing for. Chose your battle, ‘cause your time is too precious to be wasted in stupid things.
As a writer, I’ve always had to deal with the problem of the blank page. How many times have we opened a Word file just in order to spend our time watching powerless at the empty page? So much to Say, so much to give, but with The nightmare of The “beginning” standing still. If there’s something I’ve learned by experience, it’s that the kind of confusion we feel when we start writing something new is fundamental. We need that moment of despair to find out what we really want to communicate to others and why we’re doing what we’re doing.
There’s nothing to be scared of: blank Pages are a part of The creative process. Just make a coffee, listen to your favourite songs, browse The most inspiring Pinterest walls. Force yourself to Write The first, fearful word. The others will come next. Don’t be anxious, don’t be afraid. Writing is fun and it’s always catharsis, so enjoy it and don’t mind being so confused. Just make yourself through. You can definitely do that.
I’m a teacher, among the other things. I’m not The kind of teacher you can find at school but I simply help children and teenagers to do their homeworks, but still I love considering myself a teacher. Perhaps, I should say that I’m a Student because most of The Times children teach me how to face life. Young people are AMAZING, in capital letters. They’re full of life and enthusiasm, always ready to put themselves into a mess, and I really love The confusing realities. That’s what makes them ready to be ready, to learn how to deal with fear and courage, with mistakes and right choices. This is The reason why I really can’t stand grown-up people Who try to make them extremely “rational”. Life is something We learn by mistakes. There’s not “good” or “bad” and all colours are Never so neat and well defined as We adults think: there’s so much shades, in life. Teach your children to be what their are: children. Make a shelter for their most absurd dreams. Believe them when they Say they want to become astronauts. Leave them alone. Don’t be afraid of The moment when life’ll wake them up. That’s still Time for that. The time will come when they’ll be grown-up people but, if you leave them The childhood they deserve, they’ll guard their little selves inside. And God knows how The inner child could help facing life as rational, fearful adults.